On Arsenal TV Online, they have a segment that they air once every two weeks where they ask an Arsenal player who their perfect footballer is. They go from quality to quality, and list specific players for specific traits (like Footballing Brain, Heart, etc).
With this current squad, I've listed out who would make my "perfect" footballer.
Brain - Cesc Fabregas
Head - Eduardo
Eyes- Cesc Fabregas
Mouth - William Gallas
Heart - Kolo Toure
Lungs - Gael Clichy
Shooting - Robin van Persie
Tackling - William Gallas
Friday, March 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Who's Jumping Now?
Last night a mediocre Aston Villa lost 2-0 to an injury hit Manchester City. Arsenal are now 3 points behind Villa in the race for 4th spot in the Premiership. On Sunday morning, I like many other Arsenal fans, thought that by the end of the weekend, Villa would be 8 points ahead. So to be only 3 points behind them is massive.
The photograph above represents the exact moment when I was at my lowest this season. Villa had just scored a last minute equalizer against Arsenal after the Gunners had led 2-0. Throughout that game, Martin O'Neil was jumping up and down the touchline like an over-excited contestant on The Price Is Right.
Usually his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows - Is it a subconscious message to his team? Or is he getting ready to fix the toilet at half-time?
O'Neil has the same fashion sense of Brian Clough. The look of tramps.
Both men were at Nottingham Forest together and judging by O'Neil's attire it shows. On match days, Clough and O'Neil like to wear old looking sweat shirts from the local thrift store. You know the tops. They're also worn by the homeless beggar who sits outside of one of London's many tube stations, asking you for change while sipping on a big can of cider.
But then there's O'Neil's enthusiasm, which rubs off on to his players like some tarts cheap perfume. Villa fans and the media love O'Neil's enthusiasm. They call it infectious. I call it annoying. It's similar to the enthusiasm shown by the losers that celebrate getting a question right on Trivia night. They think they are really cool by having a team name like the Brainiacs and trying to relive their college drinking days. Here's my message to them: Get a life you sad fucks.
Trivia night is not the Oscars and O'Neil is not Arsene Wenger.
At one point during that 2-2 Villa game, O'Neil violently confronted Wenger. It was like watching a teenager getting fresh, then backing down after realizing he was out of his league. Pathetic.
I will always remember the Villa game for the wrong reasons. Agbonlahor diving and constantly moaning to the referee. The commentator always reminding me that Villa are the better team because they hit the bar and the post and had a shot cleared of the line. The Villa crowd taunting Wenger.
However, O'Neill's leaping celebrations will stand out the most. It shows no class. But then he's a tramp so what did I expect?
Here's a trivia question for O'Neil.
This time three years ago what league position did Arsenal occupy?
6th
And where did they finish?
4th
Like I said, trivia night is not the Oscars and Martin O'Neil is not Arsene Wenger.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
He Who Laughs Last...
Conceptually I was able to explain to a non-English speaking friend what it means to have the last laugh. But before bridging the language gap, I struggled a bit to get beyond the literal translation. After a few minutes of failed attempts, I managed to convey in my best Spanish that it has nothing to do with the order or chronology of who actually laughed when. Surprisingly I was able to get that bit across with relative ease, and grammatically it was flawless.
It is a concept that is apposite this season more than any other in recent memory. Arsenal are the media’s darlings when it comes to abuse and ridicule – everyone and their dead uncles seem to want to remind Arsene that they’ve told him so. And at the front of the queue for abuse and ridicule are The Negatives’ whipping boy du jour (having succeeded Eboue who succeeded Gallas) Niklas Bendtner. The Great Dane!
To humour him, before getting the point across I told my Spanish-speaking friend in my best John Toschak literal translation, “El gran danés reirá por ultimo.” He gave me a strange look and nodded. It was a dismissive nod and meant that maybe we should move on. I had no problem with the tacit request for I knew that Nik had made many Negatives feel rather uneasy. Surely they were glad that he’d scored and that we’d won but they'd given the boy up for a lost cause. The player seen as a symbol of Wenger’s failed policy has left them with a little egg on their faces. Good! Long may it last.
Now if only Mark Hughes would let Elano off the leash against Villa later.
It is a concept that is apposite this season more than any other in recent memory. Arsenal are the media’s darlings when it comes to abuse and ridicule – everyone and their dead uncles seem to want to remind Arsene that they’ve told him so. And at the front of the queue for abuse and ridicule are The Negatives’ whipping boy du jour (having succeeded Eboue who succeeded Gallas) Niklas Bendtner. The Great Dane!
To humour him, before getting the point across I told my Spanish-speaking friend in my best John Toschak literal translation, “El gran danés reirá por ultimo.” He gave me a strange look and nodded. It was a dismissive nod and meant that maybe we should move on. I had no problem with the tacit request for I knew that Nik had made many Negatives feel rather uneasy. Surely they were glad that he’d scored and that we’d won but they'd given the boy up for a lost cause. The player seen as a symbol of Wenger’s failed policy has left them with a little egg on their faces. Good! Long may it last.
Now if only Mark Hughes would let Elano off the leash against Villa later.
Very Superstitious
In regards to sports, I'm an incredibly superstitious man.
I know that they probably have no bearing on our team. That is the reasonable view on rituals and superstitions.
I had a friend who was a Laker fan that secretly wore Lakers shorts underneath his jeans every day during the glorious three-peat a few years ago. During another Finals run, my friend promised that he'd never eat In-N-Out burgers ever again (a huge deal if you go to college at UC Berkeley). Over the past few years, with a few failures, my friend has refused to believe in his rituals. He plainly states, "nothing you or I do affects the Lakers at all."
Obviously, this is the sensible way to think.
But, I refuse.
I believe that if I see a match live, I'm somehow helping the Arsenal. I have many rituals, and most I won't go into because they're exclusively mine. Having rituals helps sometimes in explaining away a bad performance.
One of my superstitions is never proudly boasting about a prediction, specifically to single matches. I feel fairly confident about making predictions over a season or even matches that don't involve our team, but when it comes to the Arsenal, I refrain.
I don't want to give ammunition to fire at me when our team disappoints. I don't want any cosmic karma working against the Arsenal ever. Whenever I have made a confident, boastful prediction involving us, it's usually an egg in my face.
But for tomorrow, that stops here.
This trend ends here.
We will beat West Brom tomorrow.
Despite the fact that it looks like a very winnable game, it's a dangerous one. When we played West Brom at the very beginning of the year, we only scored one goal and West Brom played very well. Tomorrow, it'll be on the road and some of our players will have heavy legs.
To our benefit, West Brom play an open style of football that I actually admire. Not to say that they're world beaters, but they try to play football and it's no surprise that Tony Mowbray holds Arsene Wenger in high regard.
The fact that Jay Simpson can't play against us is actually somewhat of a drawback. Had he been available against us, they would have fielded two strikers (along with Fortune) and played football against us. With that, we could have the space needed to create and score multiple goals. Either way, an offensive team doesn't become a defensive one overnight, and they'll play to win.
That sets up a situation where we can put our foot on the throats of Aston Villa. When they blew their two goal lead, I immediately thought about the Bolton fixture where we threw away the title in 02-03. Similar to last year, when we started to drop points, United mercilessly applied pressure on us. And we must do the same to Villa.
Make no mistake, we were let off the hook. This may be the last time. Both teams have interesting fixtures, and the benefit to this is that chasing the 4th place spot is not the same as chasing the first place team. The margin is far greater, but there's no time to waste at this point.
Villa are rocking, and we need to take advantage of it.
After the game against Fulham, Wenger said nothing to the players. We know what that means. Once the psychological problem of not scoring a goal is dealt with, our team will be clicking once again. With Theo, Cesc, Eduardo, and Adebayor all set to return soon, we can challenge for the third spot. Finishing fourth would be better than finishing fifth, but it would still lead to a difficult qualifying round. Anything can happen in the final stretch of the season.
Hell, we could finish fifth and win the Champions League, thereby knocking Villa back to the Europa League.
We will win at West Brom tomorrow. We will rise.
I know that they probably have no bearing on our team. That is the reasonable view on rituals and superstitions.
I had a friend who was a Laker fan that secretly wore Lakers shorts underneath his jeans every day during the glorious three-peat a few years ago. During another Finals run, my friend promised that he'd never eat In-N-Out burgers ever again (a huge deal if you go to college at UC Berkeley). Over the past few years, with a few failures, my friend has refused to believe in his rituals. He plainly states, "nothing you or I do affects the Lakers at all."
Obviously, this is the sensible way to think.
But, I refuse.
I believe that if I see a match live, I'm somehow helping the Arsenal. I have many rituals, and most I won't go into because they're exclusively mine. Having rituals helps sometimes in explaining away a bad performance.
One of my superstitions is never proudly boasting about a prediction, specifically to single matches. I feel fairly confident about making predictions over a season or even matches that don't involve our team, but when it comes to the Arsenal, I refrain.
I don't want to give ammunition to fire at me when our team disappoints. I don't want any cosmic karma working against the Arsenal ever. Whenever I have made a confident, boastful prediction involving us, it's usually an egg in my face.
But for tomorrow, that stops here.
This trend ends here.
We will beat West Brom tomorrow.
Despite the fact that it looks like a very winnable game, it's a dangerous one. When we played West Brom at the very beginning of the year, we only scored one goal and West Brom played very well. Tomorrow, it'll be on the road and some of our players will have heavy legs.
To our benefit, West Brom play an open style of football that I actually admire. Not to say that they're world beaters, but they try to play football and it's no surprise that Tony Mowbray holds Arsene Wenger in high regard.
The fact that Jay Simpson can't play against us is actually somewhat of a drawback. Had he been available against us, they would have fielded two strikers (along with Fortune) and played football against us. With that, we could have the space needed to create and score multiple goals. Either way, an offensive team doesn't become a defensive one overnight, and they'll play to win.
That sets up a situation where we can put our foot on the throats of Aston Villa. When they blew their two goal lead, I immediately thought about the Bolton fixture where we threw away the title in 02-03. Similar to last year, when we started to drop points, United mercilessly applied pressure on us. And we must do the same to Villa.
Make no mistake, we were let off the hook. This may be the last time. Both teams have interesting fixtures, and the benefit to this is that chasing the 4th place spot is not the same as chasing the first place team. The margin is far greater, but there's no time to waste at this point.
Villa are rocking, and we need to take advantage of it.
After the game against Fulham, Wenger said nothing to the players. We know what that means. Once the psychological problem of not scoring a goal is dealt with, our team will be clicking once again. With Theo, Cesc, Eduardo, and Adebayor all set to return soon, we can challenge for the third spot. Finishing fourth would be better than finishing fifth, but it would still lead to a difficult qualifying round. Anything can happen in the final stretch of the season.
Hell, we could finish fifth and win the Champions League, thereby knocking Villa back to the Europa League.
We will win at West Brom tomorrow. We will rise.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Bendtner
"He is slow and clumsy. He has a poor first touch and his heading is average. He is very lucky to be playing Premier League football. His age (21 years) is irrelevant. Good players show their talent from day one, Bendtner has not." Steven Cohen, Chelsea fan on his satellite radio show.
Bendtner is only 21 years old. He could be a top player for Arsenal. He has vision and movement that few players of his age have. He can run at defenses, is a physical threat, and showed against Roma that he can play Arsenal's fast, intricate, passing game.
He does need to fine tune his technique and composure in front of goal. He has scored 9 goals so far this season, which for a young, inexperienced, 4th choice striker is not bad.
Look at Aston Villa's strikers and tell me that Bendtner is not better:
Gabriel (a girls name) Agbonlahor (23 years old, 10 goals in 27 games);
Emile Heskey (31 years old, 4 goals in 25 games, 1 assist);
John Carew (30 at the start of next season, injury prone, 6 goals in 16 games);
Marlon Harewood (30 in August, 0 goals in 6 games).
Yesterday was Martin O'Neill's birthday. It was also the turning point in this fascinating season. Villa have a small, old, squad. If they get a run of bad injuries they could free fall like Hull City.
Villa's next three games are not easy. On Wednesday they face Manchester City away. City maybe without Robinho and Bellamy but they will want to rebound from their defeat away to West Ham.
They then face a Spurs team fighting relegation and then Liverpool away. The fact that Stoke scored two goals in last two minutes indicates that Villa's luck is turning. The pressure is on them if we beat West Brom.
Chelsea and Liverpool are not out of the woods yet either. Both are only 9 points ahead of us. They both play on Tuesday.
There are 11 games left. 33 points and plenty of twists and turns.
I was worried after the Fulham game, now I'm confident again.
Bendtner is only 21 years old. He could be a top player for Arsenal. He has vision and movement that few players of his age have. He can run at defenses, is a physical threat, and showed against Roma that he can play Arsenal's fast, intricate, passing game.
He does need to fine tune his technique and composure in front of goal. He has scored 9 goals so far this season, which for a young, inexperienced, 4th choice striker is not bad.
Look at Aston Villa's strikers and tell me that Bendtner is not better:
Gabriel (a girls name) Agbonlahor (23 years old, 10 goals in 27 games);
Emile Heskey (31 years old, 4 goals in 25 games, 1 assist);
John Carew (30 at the start of next season, injury prone, 6 goals in 16 games);
Marlon Harewood (30 in August, 0 goals in 6 games).
Yesterday was Martin O'Neill's birthday. It was also the turning point in this fascinating season. Villa have a small, old, squad. If they get a run of bad injuries they could free fall like Hull City.
Villa's next three games are not easy. On Wednesday they face Manchester City away. City maybe without Robinho and Bellamy but they will want to rebound from their defeat away to West Ham.
They then face a Spurs team fighting relegation and then Liverpool away. The fact that Stoke scored two goals in last two minutes indicates that Villa's luck is turning. The pressure is on them if we beat West Brom.
Chelsea and Liverpool are not out of the woods yet either. Both are only 9 points ahead of us. They both play on Tuesday.
There are 11 games left. 33 points and plenty of twists and turns.
I was worried after the Fulham game, now I'm confident again.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The Seed of Joy
My rollercoaster weekend has gone from despair to joy. I’ve spent over 13 hours working on two reports for work that are due this coming week. I am running out of time. Extensions are not an option. Just like Arsenal.
I woke up this morning at 6am. After washing up and having a quick bite, I headed for the computer. I stayed at it for the next 7 hours. After yesterday’s disappointing result, I needed something to take my mind off what was heading towards further gloom. The beach was not an option so I got to work in earnest. Woe!
But wait, the weather experts had predicted a storm. The sun even shone briefly as I typed. No storm!
I anticipated a difficult task in completing the reports and would have settled for getting through just one. I breezed through the first and attacked the second. No difficulty!
While typing, I would check periodically for the Villa/Stoke score. At 1-0 I started to feel down again.
I just continued typing.
A little later I checked again; 2-0. FUCK!
I finished both reports and turned on my phone to check messages before posting. Time was beginning to look a little more amenable at that point, even if the disappointment of yesterday’s result was still fresh. It wasn’t yet 2pm and I could still get out and enjoy my “weekend”. Of course I couldn’t rewind and will RvP to score but things were looking up.
What happened next is the stuff of dreams. It is the good omen that superstitious people look for. It is the seed of glory that could bloom in the next few weeks into a beautiful flower of success or if flowers aren’t your thing, a tall shade tree in the front yard and if you don’t have a front yard, a green leafy...you get the point.
A top mate and a great man sent me two texts.
The first did nothing to make me feel any better but considering the topic – Spurs vs. United in the Carling Cup – I wasn’t going to get much joy anyway. By now, you know my feelings about those two clubs so I won’t bore you.
The next text made up for the weekend lost to work, the less than spectacular weather, and best of all, the disappointing result.
Villa 2 Stoke 2.
We’ve been granted an extension.
Joy!
I woke up this morning at 6am. After washing up and having a quick bite, I headed for the computer. I stayed at it for the next 7 hours. After yesterday’s disappointing result, I needed something to take my mind off what was heading towards further gloom. The beach was not an option so I got to work in earnest. Woe!
But wait, the weather experts had predicted a storm. The sun even shone briefly as I typed. No storm!
I anticipated a difficult task in completing the reports and would have settled for getting through just one. I breezed through the first and attacked the second. No difficulty!
While typing, I would check periodically for the Villa/Stoke score. At 1-0 I started to feel down again.
I just continued typing.
A little later I checked again; 2-0. FUCK!
I finished both reports and turned on my phone to check messages before posting. Time was beginning to look a little more amenable at that point, even if the disappointment of yesterday’s result was still fresh. It wasn’t yet 2pm and I could still get out and enjoy my “weekend”. Of course I couldn’t rewind and will RvP to score but things were looking up.
What happened next is the stuff of dreams. It is the good omen that superstitious people look for. It is the seed of glory that could bloom in the next few weeks into a beautiful flower of success or if flowers aren’t your thing, a tall shade tree in the front yard and if you don’t have a front yard, a green leafy...you get the point.
A top mate and a great man sent me two texts.
The first did nothing to make me feel any better but considering the topic – Spurs vs. United in the Carling Cup – I wasn’t going to get much joy anyway. By now, you know my feelings about those two clubs so I won’t bore you.
The next text made up for the weekend lost to work, the less than spectacular weather, and best of all, the disappointing result.
Villa 2 Stoke 2.
We’ve been granted an extension.
Joy!
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