Jog on.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Nothing is Lost
I guess it is universally accepted that we were lucky to escape Manchester being only one goal down against the current holders of the European Cup. When the Arsenal players come out and say similar things, it's hard to disagree. The press certainly have viewed it this way.
It is true that we were blitzed in the first twenty minutes of the game. When they scored the goal, we were either going to collapse or remain firm. Although everybody assumes the entire match was one of domination, after they scored, United never went in for the kill. Due to the delicate nature of the away goal, they remained cautious and tried to break us down through counter attacks. Along with a handful of saves by the now firmly established Manuel Almunia, United never registered the killer goals.
I think more credit should go to Almunia, even though he's gotten large plaudits already for his near heroic performance on Wednesday. It is not luck that United didn't score, since Almunia made those saves. Silvestre, even if the ball came off his foot before O'Shea dispatched it into our net, played a smart game, cutting out a lot of their counter attacks and nullifying aerial threats. Kieran Gibbs is becoming increasingly solid, a tremendously promising prospect for the England National Team.
That's not to say that everybody played well. Diaby covered a lot of ground, but his decision making sometimes lets him down. He always looks to beat his man, and often plays lackadaisical passes. Likewise, Cesc had to limit his offensive influence in order to help contain the United attack.
Tactically speaking, it was an intriguing battle.
Rooney played wide left and was asked to double Theo along with Evra. This largely meant his force on the offensive end went missing. Adebayor was occupying a position on the left hand side, similar to Henry, but he's not nearly effective in this set up. That led to zero presence in the United's penalty box. He was also dropping deeper to collect passes, so that also explains the lack of presence there. We missed Robin van Persie's link up presence in this match; Cesc doesn't have the pace and menace to thrive off the striker.
Ronaldo flashed moments here and there, but his lack of defensive awareness almost cost them a couple of times. Anderson and Fletcher provided the muscle so they can carry out their offense through Ronaldo and Tevez's manic work rate.
In short, I didn't see as much threat from United once they went up by a goal. That was their mistake. They had their chance to kill us off, but they didn't because they feared the away goal.
On Tuesday, everything is up for grabs. United have an advantage, and truth be told, it's not just a narrow advantage. But we'll be there, and we'll show up.
Against Portsmouth, we will rotate the side just a bit, but the crucial importance lies in getting our the shape of our team back. In Crouch, they have a player who has been known to score goals against us. Bendtner and Arshavin will most likely play, and they will present problems to the South Coast team.
Tomorrow's priorities are getting some momentum, escaping injuries, and dispatching away Aston Villa's iron sulfide challenge to the Champions League spot.
It is true that we were blitzed in the first twenty minutes of the game. When they scored the goal, we were either going to collapse or remain firm. Although everybody assumes the entire match was one of domination, after they scored, United never went in for the kill. Due to the delicate nature of the away goal, they remained cautious and tried to break us down through counter attacks. Along with a handful of saves by the now firmly established Manuel Almunia, United never registered the killer goals.
I think more credit should go to Almunia, even though he's gotten large plaudits already for his near heroic performance on Wednesday. It is not luck that United didn't score, since Almunia made those saves. Silvestre, even if the ball came off his foot before O'Shea dispatched it into our net, played a smart game, cutting out a lot of their counter attacks and nullifying aerial threats. Kieran Gibbs is becoming increasingly solid, a tremendously promising prospect for the England National Team.
That's not to say that everybody played well. Diaby covered a lot of ground, but his decision making sometimes lets him down. He always looks to beat his man, and often plays lackadaisical passes. Likewise, Cesc had to limit his offensive influence in order to help contain the United attack.
Tactically speaking, it was an intriguing battle.
Rooney played wide left and was asked to double Theo along with Evra. This largely meant his force on the offensive end went missing. Adebayor was occupying a position on the left hand side, similar to Henry, but he's not nearly effective in this set up. That led to zero presence in the United's penalty box. He was also dropping deeper to collect passes, so that also explains the lack of presence there. We missed Robin van Persie's link up presence in this match; Cesc doesn't have the pace and menace to thrive off the striker.
Ronaldo flashed moments here and there, but his lack of defensive awareness almost cost them a couple of times. Anderson and Fletcher provided the muscle so they can carry out their offense through Ronaldo and Tevez's manic work rate.
In short, I didn't see as much threat from United once they went up by a goal. That was their mistake. They had their chance to kill us off, but they didn't because they feared the away goal.
On Tuesday, everything is up for grabs. United have an advantage, and truth be told, it's not just a narrow advantage. But we'll be there, and we'll show up.
Against Portsmouth, we will rotate the side just a bit, but the crucial importance lies in getting our the shape of our team back. In Crouch, they have a player who has been known to score goals against us. Bendtner and Arshavin will most likely play, and they will present problems to the South Coast team.
Tomorrow's priorities are getting some momentum, escaping injuries, and dispatching away Aston Villa's iron sulfide challenge to the Champions League spot.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Advantage Manchester United
First leg and advantage to Manchester United.
1-0 is not a bad scoreline if you consider that Man United scored after only 17 minutes. For the first 20 minutes Arsenal were blitzed. I thought immediately after Man United had scored that Arsenal might get drubbed 3 or 4 nil. I told the bloke sitting next to me that if Arsenal could survive not conceding another goal before half-time then they would be okay.
Some Arsenal players seemed overawed by the occasion. They simply froze.
Old Trafford
76,000 fans, 72,000 of which are the enemy.
Champions League semi-final.
Man United players were like baying dogs going for the kill, but once they scored they calmed down and took their foot off the gas.
Bad move.
The tie should have been won at half-time. Arsenal were there for the taking.
In the second half, Arsenal played more composed football. There were times when Arsenal dominated possession. However, keeping possession of the ball is all well and good, but football is about goals. When it comes to procreating, what's the point of being good at foreplay if you can't penetrate?
At the end of the game, Arsenal nearly nicked a goal and Man United players were happy to hear the final whistle. A good sign for the future in my opinion.
Here are some observations:
Arsenal look and play better with two strikers. Arsenal looked threatening with Bendtner and Eduardo playing. They made United players concerned;
Rooney did a job on Walcott;
United play better with Tevez;
Almunia is a top quality keeper. You can now forget about his performance at Stoke;
Song was immense. Apart from a couple of bad passes he did a lot of things right: tackled well, won headers, broke up United attacks and started Arsenal attacks.
Wenger is right when he says that you will see a different Arsenal at The Emirates. Arsenal were poor partly because Man United were very good.
With the scoreline at 1-0 many might say that Arsenal are out. They should be out but they're no way near out. True, if United score first at the Emirates then I would say that they are through to the final in Rome.
However, there are some previous games that suggest all is not lost.
Back in February, Arsenal blitzed Roma but only won 1-0. The return leg was different. Arsenal played poorly and lost 1-0.
In 1980, Arsenal played Juventus in the Cup Winners Cup semi-final. They drew the first leg at Highbury 1-1. Pundits said that Arsenal were out because the Italians had the away goal. Arsenal won the return leg 1-0.
In the 1995 Cup Winners Cup semi-final against Sampdoria, Arsenal won the first leg at home 3-2. Again, the pundits said Arsenal were out because the Italians had two away goals. In the second leg, Sampdoria went ahead 3-1 scoring two goals in last eight minutes, only for Stephan Schwarz to score a 30 yard free-kick in injury time and send the game into extra-time. Seaman, who had two cracked ribs, saved three penalties in the shoot-out and Arsenal went on to the final.
On both occasions Arsenal played a Spanish team in the final.
I would love to play Barcelona again in a final.
The Manchester United game is far from over even though it should be.
1-0 is not a bad scoreline if you consider that Man United scored after only 17 minutes. For the first 20 minutes Arsenal were blitzed. I thought immediately after Man United had scored that Arsenal might get drubbed 3 or 4 nil. I told the bloke sitting next to me that if Arsenal could survive not conceding another goal before half-time then they would be okay.
Some Arsenal players seemed overawed by the occasion. They simply froze.
Old Trafford
76,000 fans, 72,000 of which are the enemy.
Champions League semi-final.
Man United players were like baying dogs going for the kill, but once they scored they calmed down and took their foot off the gas.
Bad move.
The tie should have been won at half-time. Arsenal were there for the taking.
In the second half, Arsenal played more composed football. There were times when Arsenal dominated possession. However, keeping possession of the ball is all well and good, but football is about goals. When it comes to procreating, what's the point of being good at foreplay if you can't penetrate?
At the end of the game, Arsenal nearly nicked a goal and Man United players were happy to hear the final whistle. A good sign for the future in my opinion.
Here are some observations:
Arsenal look and play better with two strikers. Arsenal looked threatening with Bendtner and Eduardo playing. They made United players concerned;
Rooney did a job on Walcott;
United play better with Tevez;
Almunia is a top quality keeper. You can now forget about his performance at Stoke;
Song was immense. Apart from a couple of bad passes he did a lot of things right: tackled well, won headers, broke up United attacks and started Arsenal attacks.
Wenger is right when he says that you will see a different Arsenal at The Emirates. Arsenal were poor partly because Man United were very good.
With the scoreline at 1-0 many might say that Arsenal are out. They should be out but they're no way near out. True, if United score first at the Emirates then I would say that they are through to the final in Rome.
However, there are some previous games that suggest all is not lost.
Back in February, Arsenal blitzed Roma but only won 1-0. The return leg was different. Arsenal played poorly and lost 1-0.
In 1980, Arsenal played Juventus in the Cup Winners Cup semi-final. They drew the first leg at Highbury 1-1. Pundits said that Arsenal were out because the Italians had the away goal. Arsenal won the return leg 1-0.
In the 1995 Cup Winners Cup semi-final against Sampdoria, Arsenal won the first leg at home 3-2. Again, the pundits said Arsenal were out because the Italians had two away goals. In the second leg, Sampdoria went ahead 3-1 scoring two goals in last eight minutes, only for Stephan Schwarz to score a 30 yard free-kick in injury time and send the game into extra-time. Seaman, who had two cracked ribs, saved three penalties in the shoot-out and Arsenal went on to the final.
On both occasions Arsenal played a Spanish team in the final.
I would love to play Barcelona again in a final.
The Manchester United game is far from over even though it should be.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The Big Red One
I've never been more excited for an Arsenal match than tomorrow. Quite simply, this is a tie I've waited for the last ten years. Arsenal Football Club versus Manchester United Football Club. It represents England at it's very best, and the world will watch to see which football side emerges victorious.
To be correct, hopefully, the tie will not be decided tomorrow. Any manager will tell their team that you cannot necessarily win the tie in the first leg, but you definitely can lose it.
But this tie has everything.
It has the grand rivalry between Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson. The truth is, we hate Ferguson with a passion because he is a successful manager. Were he our manager, I'd venture that most Gooners would defend him with great zeal, the same way they defend Arsene. If it were the other way around, it's hard to say. That's a comment that says more about United fans than it does about Arsenal fans. Both are class managers in an objective sense, although Wenger remains much more of a purist. He is a man who tries to achieve champagne football built on fantasies, something that simply doesn't exist anymore in this era of football.
It has the wonderful talents between both squads. I do not want to highlight the fine players that United have in this segment, because it makes me sick. More to the point, I'd like to say that the players have the opportunity to take another step towards supremacy. Last year, we suffered a horrible exit against Liverpool at Anfield. The players learn from episodes like this, and I'm confident that if we were to lose this tie, our players will not crumble up and die. That doesn't mean the players aren't up or prepared for tomorrow. They'll want it badly. It's often said that players nowadays fancy the Champions League more than the League, that may be due to the cosmopolitan nature of the big clubs now, but it is a fact. The only trophy players covet more is the World Cup. I think the league is very important, but the Champions League is a huge omission in Arsene Wenger's glorious CV. If this group of players achieve what most people feel is impossible, it may rank as his greatest achievement.
It has the history that was too easily swept under the rug. They may be "friends" now, but as fierce competitors, the two managers still do not like to lose to one another. Let's not forget that Cesc was there for pizzagate. The hatred wasn't what it once was, but after this tie, everything will come back. I guarantee it. I can't begin to describe to you how much I hate United.
Tomorrow, I want to see only one thing by the end. Obviously, I would love to head to the Emirates with a 3-0 lead in hand. However, this is probably unlikely.
What I would like to see is us in a position to win the tie at the Emirates by winning at the Emirates. I want the tie to remain alive. I want the team to experience the sensation of playing United at the Emirates knowing that if they win, they'll progress to the Champions League Final. I want the fans at the Emirates to realize that they're watching something special, something that will forever be remembered in history.
Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger have never played each other in this format before. This is a tie that will be decided over 180 minutes, not 90.
The thing I'd like to tell our fans is to enjoy the occasion and support the squad. They never gave up on each other, so we have no reason to give up on them. It's rare that you get to see genius on this level collide like two freight trains.
This tie will have majesty and ferocity. It will be one for the ages.
To be correct, hopefully, the tie will not be decided tomorrow. Any manager will tell their team that you cannot necessarily win the tie in the first leg, but you definitely can lose it.
But this tie has everything.
It has the grand rivalry between Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson. The truth is, we hate Ferguson with a passion because he is a successful manager. Were he our manager, I'd venture that most Gooners would defend him with great zeal, the same way they defend Arsene. If it were the other way around, it's hard to say. That's a comment that says more about United fans than it does about Arsenal fans. Both are class managers in an objective sense, although Wenger remains much more of a purist. He is a man who tries to achieve champagne football built on fantasies, something that simply doesn't exist anymore in this era of football.
It has the wonderful talents between both squads. I do not want to highlight the fine players that United have in this segment, because it makes me sick. More to the point, I'd like to say that the players have the opportunity to take another step towards supremacy. Last year, we suffered a horrible exit against Liverpool at Anfield. The players learn from episodes like this, and I'm confident that if we were to lose this tie, our players will not crumble up and die. That doesn't mean the players aren't up or prepared for tomorrow. They'll want it badly. It's often said that players nowadays fancy the Champions League more than the League, that may be due to the cosmopolitan nature of the big clubs now, but it is a fact. The only trophy players covet more is the World Cup. I think the league is very important, but the Champions League is a huge omission in Arsene Wenger's glorious CV. If this group of players achieve what most people feel is impossible, it may rank as his greatest achievement.
It has the history that was too easily swept under the rug. They may be "friends" now, but as fierce competitors, the two managers still do not like to lose to one another. Let's not forget that Cesc was there for pizzagate. The hatred wasn't what it once was, but after this tie, everything will come back. I guarantee it. I can't begin to describe to you how much I hate United.
Tomorrow, I want to see only one thing by the end. Obviously, I would love to head to the Emirates with a 3-0 lead in hand. However, this is probably unlikely.
What I would like to see is us in a position to win the tie at the Emirates by winning at the Emirates. I want the tie to remain alive. I want the team to experience the sensation of playing United at the Emirates knowing that if they win, they'll progress to the Champions League Final. I want the fans at the Emirates to realize that they're watching something special, something that will forever be remembered in history.
Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger have never played each other in this format before. This is a tie that will be decided over 180 minutes, not 90.
The thing I'd like to tell our fans is to enjoy the occasion and support the squad. They never gave up on each other, so we have no reason to give up on them. It's rare that you get to see genius on this level collide like two freight trains.
This tie will have majesty and ferocity. It will be one for the ages.
My Rover Your Rolls
I looked up Rolls Royce on the respected edmunds.com site. As expected, the praise was gushing; “stately, opulent and luxurious”, “set a standard that other luxury car makers have aspired to reach”, “the best car in the world”, “at the front of the ultra-luxury pack”. If I were to make comparisons to automobiles, it is clear that Manchester United would be the Rolls Royce of football clubs. They are standard bearers sitting at the top of the football mountain.
I then looked up Range Rover – the Range Rover Sport model to be exact; “a premium SUV that represents a shift in focus for this SUV-oriented luxury brand.”
I stress shift in focus for that is exactly what Arsenal have done with regard to the Wenger model for player acquisition and squad building. While we’ve spent a record fee on AA23 as the lone (established) star to join Wenger’s young squad, United have spent more than double the Arshaviin fee on each of their main strikers. This, much to the ire of many a Gooner, has symbolized the image of a club in alleged regression mode. The common accusation is that we are a club that has not been able to keep up with its rivals. It is said that we haven’t adequately replaced The Invincibles.
Like the Rover Sport to the Rolls Royce (any model), Arsenal are very high quality but on a different if not less opulent scale. I heard someone describe the ride and performance of the Range Rover Sport model recently and couldn’t help but think of Arsenal. He described the vehicle with four words; high performance, luxurious, sporty. Perhaps car enthusiasts with greater breadth of knowledge than I have might be able to think of better comparisons.
When Arsenal are in full flow, we are undoubtedly the most entertaining side in all of football – Barcelona and Utd are right up there but you will forgive my obvious bias. In time, we will develop into the most dynamic side as well.
The semi final has come upon us like a Range Rover Sport overtaking a Rolls Royce. I have no fear of Manchester United. We’ve already beaten them. We can beat them again. We have an extremely frustrating recent past when it comes to defining moments in the quest for European club football’s greatest prize. I feel strongly that the drive and focus required to reach the final will be immense. Sure Utd are driven and will not lack focus with Taggart in charge but as a great man once said, “Wenger’s no mug.”
Our season depends on this tie. We must do what a large faction of Arsenal fans and neutrals alike would have laughed at me even three months ago for suggesting was possible. In many circles, victories over United and Chelsea this season were seen as ‘one offs’. Many feel that "we're not good enough".
That matters little at this point. We haven’t cruised by any means this season but nobody can say that our high performing young team is far from ascending the mountaintop.
I then looked up Range Rover – the Range Rover Sport model to be exact; “a premium SUV that represents a shift in focus for this SUV-oriented luxury brand.”
I stress shift in focus for that is exactly what Arsenal have done with regard to the Wenger model for player acquisition and squad building. While we’ve spent a record fee on AA23 as the lone (established) star to join Wenger’s young squad, United have spent more than double the Arshaviin fee on each of their main strikers. This, much to the ire of many a Gooner, has symbolized the image of a club in alleged regression mode. The common accusation is that we are a club that has not been able to keep up with its rivals. It is said that we haven’t adequately replaced The Invincibles.
Like the Rover Sport to the Rolls Royce (any model), Arsenal are very high quality but on a different if not less opulent scale. I heard someone describe the ride and performance of the Range Rover Sport model recently and couldn’t help but think of Arsenal. He described the vehicle with four words; high performance, luxurious, sporty. Perhaps car enthusiasts with greater breadth of knowledge than I have might be able to think of better comparisons.
When Arsenal are in full flow, we are undoubtedly the most entertaining side in all of football – Barcelona and Utd are right up there but you will forgive my obvious bias. In time, we will develop into the most dynamic side as well.
The semi final has come upon us like a Range Rover Sport overtaking a Rolls Royce. I have no fear of Manchester United. We’ve already beaten them. We can beat them again. We have an extremely frustrating recent past when it comes to defining moments in the quest for European club football’s greatest prize. I feel strongly that the drive and focus required to reach the final will be immense. Sure Utd are driven and will not lack focus with Taggart in charge but as a great man once said, “Wenger’s no mug.”
Our season depends on this tie. We must do what a large faction of Arsenal fans and neutrals alike would have laughed at me even three months ago for suggesting was possible. In many circles, victories over United and Chelsea this season were seen as ‘one offs’. Many feel that "we're not good enough".
That matters little at this point. We haven’t cruised by any means this season but nobody can say that our high performing young team is far from ascending the mountaintop.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Be Thankful For Being an Arsenal Fan
Newcastle are desperate.
Everyone involved with that club is desperate.
Let's start with the players. If you are Michael Owen, why would you leave Real Madrid and join Newcastle? Why did Obafemi Martins leave Inter Milan for Newcastle? Why did Damien Duff leave a Premiership winning Chelsea team for Newcastle? Why would you join a team that has Nicky Butt as it's play-maker?
Nicky Butt is an MLS player. He doesn't belong in the Premiership.
The problem with Newcastle is that they sign players at the wrong end of their careers. They sign has-been players who have made Newcastle a has been club.
Alan Smith
Joey Barton
Nicky Butt
Geremi
Mark Viduka
Kevin Nolan
But the fans believe otherwise. They point to the millions of pounds spent each year on players, the 52,000 St James Park stadium, the Toon Army, the massive support and the Newcastle nightlife.
I look at Newcastle differently.
Number 1: it's right up there in the north-east of England. It's so far north it's practically in Scotland. The geographic equivalent in the United States is Bangor, Maine. You get the drift.
Living in London, you have the choice of catching a flight to Amsterdam, Paris or Newcastle. The cost and distance are the same but the culture isn't. You only have to look at Newcastle's icons to realize that.
Brown Ale, a football club and a bridge.
You can see why I choose Amsterdam or Paris every time.
Number 2: the weather. It's always cold in Newcastle. In tonight's game at St James Park the temperature was 41 F or 5 C. Yet on TV, hundreds of home supporters wore just a Newcastle top. I also noticed that there were some flurries of snow.
Flurries of snow?
We are 3 days away from May. Yes, May the first month of summer.
You will never get sun burnt in Newcastle. I can guarantee you that. Newcastle has replaced it's lack of sun with beer, pubs and neanderthal pussy.
Neanderthal pussy you ask? Yes, think scantily clad, pale, doughy skin, flab, short skirts, cheap make-up, yellow teeth, trash talking, peroxide gelled hair, pint downing pussy. It's desperate!
But looking fat, pasty, and anemic is the look in Newcastle. Combine the look with alcohol and you have have a fat cancer victim who is drunk. They make the characters in the film "Childern of the Corn" look normal.
Number 3: I can never understand a Geordie. They speak English but I would probably understand them better if they didn't. What they speak is Brown Ale. I need subtitles for whenever Gazza speaks, but I just give up whenever a drunk Newcastle fans tries to talk to me. I walk away in the same manner that I do when a crack head asks me for change after I have just withdrawn cash from the ATM.
Number 4: The Blayden Races. You what? The unofficial anthem of Newcastle United. It's an old 19th century folk song about a man and his friends traveling to a horse race. What it has to do with Geordie identity or a football club I have no idea! But before Newcastle's game against Portsmouth, a fat, bald, middle-aged, white, male with a red beard, ran around the pitch, trying to rally the crowd by waving a large Newcastle flag and singing in a bombastic opera voice, this crap folk song into a microphone. The Newcastle fans responded accordingly. Singing their hearts out. It was beyond pathetic.
Number 5: The billionaire Mike Ashley who became rich by buying sports brands from distressed sellers: Donnay, Lonsdale, Slazenger, Dunlop, Karrimor and Kangol. Hardly high end brands but then we're talking about Mike Ashley who is hardly a high end brand of chairman. Ashley typifies a rich Geordie. He wears a Newcastle top to games. He used to sit with fans until Kevin Keegan resigned. He downs pints in public, makes an idiot of himself in cheesy New York clubs by running up $150,000 tabs and dancing on stage with slappers. He's fat, ugly, pasty and lacks class.
The Arsenal chairman would never behave or act in such a crass manner. You may not like David Dein, Peter Hill-Wood or Danny Fiszman but at least they have class.
Number 6: Messiahs. Keegan the Messiah. He quit so Bobby Robson was the Messiah. He got fired so they eventually brought Keegan back to be the Messiah once again. He once again quit so now Shearer is the Messiah. If he quits who is next? How many more Messiahs can you invent?
Number 7: Managers. Since 2004, Newcastle have had six different managers since Bobby Robson was fired:
Graeme Souness
Glenn Roeder
Sam Allardyce
Kevin Keegan
Joe Kinnear
Alan Shearer
I wouldn't allow any of the above anywhere near any Arsenal team and that includes the Ladies. They are disturbing appointments at best. Ossie Ardilles is the only foreign manager to have been employed at Newcastle back in 1991-92. He was sacked after leaving Newcastle in serious relegation trouble and the north-east club haven't appointed a foreign coach since.
Newcastle have 31 points. They signed Shearer to beat the drop. In four games he has won zero games, scored one goal and gained just 2 points. In contrast, Portsmouth's coaching staff of Paul Hart and Brain Kidd (Fergie's number two during the treble season) have done a sterling job in making Pompey avoid relegation. Ten games, two defeats, 14 points.
Arsenal play Portsmouth on Saturday at Fratton Park. If Arsenal win they will guarantee themselves Champions League football next season. If Portsmouth win, they will guarantee Premiership football next season. Each competition is worth over $50 million.
Newcastle on the other hand can only guarantee you another Messiah. Shearer says he is standing down after this season so they will need a new one.
Who is left for them?
Yes, you've guessed it:
GAZZA
Everyone involved with that club is desperate.
Let's start with the players. If you are Michael Owen, why would you leave Real Madrid and join Newcastle? Why did Obafemi Martins leave Inter Milan for Newcastle? Why did Damien Duff leave a Premiership winning Chelsea team for Newcastle? Why would you join a team that has Nicky Butt as it's play-maker?
Nicky Butt is an MLS player. He doesn't belong in the Premiership.
The problem with Newcastle is that they sign players at the wrong end of their careers. They sign has-been players who have made Newcastle a has been club.
Alan Smith
Joey Barton
Nicky Butt
Geremi
Mark Viduka
Kevin Nolan
But the fans believe otherwise. They point to the millions of pounds spent each year on players, the 52,000 St James Park stadium, the Toon Army, the massive support and the Newcastle nightlife.
I look at Newcastle differently.
Number 1: it's right up there in the north-east of England. It's so far north it's practically in Scotland. The geographic equivalent in the United States is Bangor, Maine. You get the drift.
Living in London, you have the choice of catching a flight to Amsterdam, Paris or Newcastle. The cost and distance are the same but the culture isn't. You only have to look at Newcastle's icons to realize that.
Brown Ale, a football club and a bridge.
You can see why I choose Amsterdam or Paris every time.
Number 2: the weather. It's always cold in Newcastle. In tonight's game at St James Park the temperature was 41 F or 5 C. Yet on TV, hundreds of home supporters wore just a Newcastle top. I also noticed that there were some flurries of snow.
Flurries of snow?
We are 3 days away from May. Yes, May the first month of summer.
You will never get sun burnt in Newcastle. I can guarantee you that. Newcastle has replaced it's lack of sun with beer, pubs and neanderthal pussy.
Neanderthal pussy you ask? Yes, think scantily clad, pale, doughy skin, flab, short skirts, cheap make-up, yellow teeth, trash talking, peroxide gelled hair, pint downing pussy. It's desperate!
But looking fat, pasty, and anemic is the look in Newcastle. Combine the look with alcohol and you have have a fat cancer victim who is drunk. They make the characters in the film "Childern of the Corn" look normal.
Number 3: I can never understand a Geordie. They speak English but I would probably understand them better if they didn't. What they speak is Brown Ale. I need subtitles for whenever Gazza speaks, but I just give up whenever a drunk Newcastle fans tries to talk to me. I walk away in the same manner that I do when a crack head asks me for change after I have just withdrawn cash from the ATM.
Number 4: The Blayden Races. You what? The unofficial anthem of Newcastle United. It's an old 19th century folk song about a man and his friends traveling to a horse race. What it has to do with Geordie identity or a football club I have no idea! But before Newcastle's game against Portsmouth, a fat, bald, middle-aged, white, male with a red beard, ran around the pitch, trying to rally the crowd by waving a large Newcastle flag and singing in a bombastic opera voice, this crap folk song into a microphone. The Newcastle fans responded accordingly. Singing their hearts out. It was beyond pathetic.
Number 5: The billionaire Mike Ashley who became rich by buying sports brands from distressed sellers: Donnay, Lonsdale, Slazenger, Dunlop, Karrimor and Kangol. Hardly high end brands but then we're talking about Mike Ashley who is hardly a high end brand of chairman. Ashley typifies a rich Geordie. He wears a Newcastle top to games. He used to sit with fans until Kevin Keegan resigned. He downs pints in public, makes an idiot of himself in cheesy New York clubs by running up $150,000 tabs and dancing on stage with slappers. He's fat, ugly, pasty and lacks class.
The Arsenal chairman would never behave or act in such a crass manner. You may not like David Dein, Peter Hill-Wood or Danny Fiszman but at least they have class.
Number 6: Messiahs. Keegan the Messiah. He quit so Bobby Robson was the Messiah. He got fired so they eventually brought Keegan back to be the Messiah once again. He once again quit so now Shearer is the Messiah. If he quits who is next? How many more Messiahs can you invent?
Number 7: Managers. Since 2004, Newcastle have had six different managers since Bobby Robson was fired:
Graeme Souness
Glenn Roeder
Sam Allardyce
Kevin Keegan
Joe Kinnear
Alan Shearer
I wouldn't allow any of the above anywhere near any Arsenal team and that includes the Ladies. They are disturbing appointments at best. Ossie Ardilles is the only foreign manager to have been employed at Newcastle back in 1991-92. He was sacked after leaving Newcastle in serious relegation trouble and the north-east club haven't appointed a foreign coach since.
Newcastle have 31 points. They signed Shearer to beat the drop. In four games he has won zero games, scored one goal and gained just 2 points. In contrast, Portsmouth's coaching staff of Paul Hart and Brain Kidd (Fergie's number two during the treble season) have done a sterling job in making Pompey avoid relegation. Ten games, two defeats, 14 points.
Arsenal play Portsmouth on Saturday at Fratton Park. If Arsenal win they will guarantee themselves Champions League football next season. If Portsmouth win, they will guarantee Premiership football next season. Each competition is worth over $50 million.
Newcastle on the other hand can only guarantee you another Messiah. Shearer says he is standing down after this season so they will need a new one.
Who is left for them?
Yes, you've guessed it:
GAZZA
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)