Another Signing

Arsenal have signed Laurent Koscielny . He's just agreed terms and will sign shortly.

I agreed terms about 7 years ago when I was in Amsterdam. No, I wasn't signing for Ajax. I was getting a blow job from some Ho in an alleyway. 50 Euros for three minutes of action.

So what does this Koscielny bring to Arsenal? I have no fucking clue but he looks like a prisoner from some shit hole in California and a twin of that ugly bastard James Milner. So, yes, he's just what Arsenal need at the back.

I got the Chamakh signing right but back in 2005, I said that Arsenal would sign Sean Wank Phillips. Yeah, I got that one wrong - Thank God. But ever since then, some French loving cunt in New York has dismissed my statements as gossip. I think he needs to go down some dark alleyway in Amsterdam with 50 Euros in his pocket.

The other player Arsenal are going to sign is Joe Cole plus a goalkeeper. There's probably another defender or defensive midfielder on his way too. But I'm not going to check NewsNow five times a day to see if Arsenal have signed some cunt who has a name that only my vomit can pronounce after 44 Bulgarian lagers.

Let's face it, the World Cup has been great. I wake up and watch football. Come home from work and watch more football. I'm drinking a six pack a day and going on Stoke websites pretending to be a US fan. Instant abuse and hatred - so much so that I've been banned twice.

Stoke - the club that clings to the Premier League in the same way that excrement soiled toilet paper clings to the bum hairs on your crack. I can't wait for them to be flushed down to the Championship.

If England fail to beat Slovenia, Stoke fans will blame Arsenal. Trust me on this one.

Maybe, it's time for a British team. Wales haven't qualified for a World Cup since 1958. Northern Ireland - who should join Ireland - haven't qualified since 1986, while Scotland last qualified for a World Cup back in 1998. Scotland have never made it past the group stage.

England have made the last four of the World Cup only once in 44 year years.

But a British team needs a British Premier League.

I would rather Arsenal play Celtic and Rangers than Stoke or Blackpool. Or how about just cut Blackpool, Blackburn, Stoke, Wolves or West Brom from the Premiership and have a Winter Break. That way, England will be able to beat the mighty Slovenia 1-0 and advance to the knockout stages where they will lose on penalties.

I mean come on let's get fucking real.

Watching England has been painful and always will be painful. So much so, that if England were a woman, even her tampon would say no.

Keep it Arsenal